Teens. I’ll have one in a little over a month. I even have a female one which I hear is the most enjoyable kind you can get. From a child development perspective it is fascinating. I see glimpses of behaviors repeated from toddlerhood- outbursts, crying, pouting, a focus on self, and more. All of these are developmentally appropriate and come with the occasional hug or snuggle so all is not actually lost. But with this tender time also comes the occasional parent “dis”. Ouch.

A few nights ago I entered my daughter’s room to do the same thing I do every night-take every bit of technology including phone, iPad and laptop. This is to be expected. It is a routine. These items sleep next to me at the side of my bed so I know they will not interrupt her sleep in any way, and that is just one of the many reasons I do it. And, despite it being routine, there is at least a day or two each week where there is a moment of conflict, and yet the end result is always the same- I get the technology.

On this particular evening I had prepared a mini speech explaining why I take her things each night, why it should be accepted as the regular routine, and I even explained how it is expected that she and I will not always see eye to eye on all matters. I also explained I was okay with her expressing her anger, dislike, etc. in an appropriate way. Being the generous person I am I even offered her examples of ways she could word her frustrations that would keep things clean and fair and not have the conversation escalate into World War III.

You should have seen this talk. IT. WAS. AMAZING. It was the stuff that the old after school specials were made of. I wondered if I should quickly type it up and send it to The Huffington Post for immediate publication to help other parents in the same situation. Then, just as I was about to hold my arms up high in the air for my “mic drop” moment, turn on my heel and exit, she spoke. With perfect eye contact and her best TOTALLY over it tone she said, “Great speech, Oprah. Now will you get out of my room?”

Wow! What the hell just happened? I did not see that one coming. What would I do? I cleared my throat, smiled and said, “Well, I was leaving anyway. And I happen to LOVE Oprah! Thank you for the compliment.” And with arms overflowing with phone, iPad and laptop, Oprah left the building.